[The next text comes later. He's likely already started on a response before it comes through.]
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to send it like that. At least it's honest.
The point is...The point is, you're human Yusuke. You make mistakes, and some of those hurt people...even if you don't realize it. But I don't hate you for it. And I'm not mad. I...still need you, I still rely on you.
I hope...this doesn't keep you from relying on me.
[ This isn't even what he meant. It was about the Constellation, how his own pathetic need for purpose (because torture and arms dealing were really carrying on the Phantom Thieves mission) and validation (because sticking to Adachi seemed so important back then - why?) had put them all at risk. But it's a lot easier to break something than it is to fix it, he can't just ask nicely to be let out and expect it to work, and he wouldn't, as much as Akira hates his infiltration plot as a means to get rid of them, he hasn't come up with anything better. It had been short-sighted, of course it had, but selfish? There is nothing selfish about wanting to keep the circle small. There is nothing selfish about not tripping over himself to forgive someone who has made no effort to prove he has changed, not that Yusuke is aware of.
But of course she isn't focused on that. How could she be? He is realizing quickly that he's had this conversation before, blown someone right over and not known until it was far too late to be fixed. Last time was so angry, on both sides, and Yusuke would rather be hit with a new round of venom than what he gets, which is just...hurt. Palpable, visible hurt, even through text, he can see her face twisted with pain in his head as if in a frame, and he has to put the phone down for a second.
Akira is right. Brendan was right. This is his fault, and he deserves this. ]
I still need you. I still need both of you, but I have done nothing but cause you trouble since you arrived. I don't deserve anything from you.
I'm sorry.
I know that isn't enough.
If you don't want to talk to me either, I understand.
[No. No no no no no. That is not what she wanted. She didn't want him to think she'd abandon him--that's exactly what she wanted to avoid. This, like everything else around them lately, was a mess.]
Yusuke. Stop it.
Did I say I wanted to stop talking to you? I said I still needed you too. I don't want you to stop relying on me.
We're a team, even when you screw up. Even when I screw up. We fix it together.
You might want to consult him on that. I am merely the muscle, obviously not intelligent or capable enough to choose my own relationships. I'll have to wait on his wise judgement to decide that for me.
[Timelines are a myth. Whenever he comes over, she's waiting and it doesn't take her long to answer the door.]
Hey...
[It's not the boisterous greeting she'd normally give, much more subdued and quiet, but it's still friendly and offered with a hint of a smile as she stands aside to let him in.]
[ It's a normal routine by now. Nod politely, come inside, take off his shoes, vomit his secrets and feelings until they cover every surface. No end in sight. ]
[She looks up at him, clearly concerned. He was the one that had a blow-out fight with Akira, not her. And while she had said some things in the text the night before...her own hurt over a fairly unrelated situation could take a back seat. Yusuke needed support, and that's what she was going to give. Their friendship came first, she promised him that.]
[ Nope. Yusuke has to clench his teeth to cut himself off from the default response he's been using for years. I'm fine. It's a lie. It's hiding from the truth, something he made a vow to stop, and now he's doing it again. It has to end.
It's easier with Futaba, though. She at least understands. ]
I am not at my best. I am angry, and hurt, but I got some sleep, for once. I want to make things right, with everyone. I can't talk to Akira yet, so I am starting with you.
[Futaba waits as he stumbles over the default response--she almost expected it. It's easier to fall back on an I'm fine, easier that exposing raw nerves and letting the hurt bubble to the surface.
She's surprised when he pushes through and is honest. Progress.]
[ Maybe, technically, he started with Otabek? Not that he'd done anything to hurt him, but he should have told him everything before agreeing to date him. There's a lot of things he should have done, and didn't, since he came here. Yusuke is trying to make up for them, not dwell on them. ]
Yes, Futaba. I have been doing a lot of thinking, and talking. I have been so caught up in my own whirlwind of everything that I hurt you. I know I did, and I am sorry. I cannot help the way I feel or don't feel any more than you can, but I can pay attention. I just...didn't. I neglected your feelings and breezed past you, and you are not the first to fall victim to my carelessness.
[ ...he'll talk to Brendan later. If he'll even listen. ]
You are important to me, no matter who feels what. I want to be a better friend.
[She appreciates the thought behind his apology, knowing it comes from a place of honesty. But she hates that he felt the need to apologize for getting caught up in his own feelings--It sucked, it hurt, but she hadn't really done much to make him any more aware of it.]
I didn't bring it up. I could have confronted you about how I felt past...past confessing in the first place, but I didn't. It hurt, hurts, but I didn't tell you it did.
I pushed it down, hid it, because I didn't want to come in between anything when you were obviously serious about Yuri--and now I know that involves Otabek too. I should have been honest...
[She offers a slight smile after a moment.]
I know I'm important to you, just like you're important to me. I can't say it's going to be an easy thing moving past...this, but I'll be more honest if I'm feeling left behind.
I didn't really...tell you I was still uncomfortable. I guess...Otabek being in the picture didnt help much--not with the way it came up anyway, especially after telling him how I felt at the sleep over. I don't know if it makes things better or more complicated for all of you but...I wasn't expecting and that made it hit a bit harder. Kind of brought a lot of "what-ifs" to mind...
[ She sighs, moving to join him on the couch. There was a bit more distance between them than normal, but not so much that it seemed like she was trying to maintain any distance.]
I don't know that I would call it self-centered. More...self-sacrificing maybe. You don't ask for help, but at the same time its because you don't want us to get mixed up in everything more than we already are. It's not as if you're doing it for personal glory. [She glances over at him.] And you haven't been doing everything entirely on your own either. You've pulled me in to help now and then...
[ Yusuke watches carefully, letting his hair fall in front of his face as he listens to Futaba echo his feelings back at him. ]
Thank you for understanding. My intentions were always good, but I have work to do. I know that. People have offered to help shoulder my burden and I have turned them away. You, however, refuse to be told no, so I didn't try.
You could have but...timing didn't really allow for a tactful answer.
And we're not really known for tact with each other anyway.
[It was true though. How often had they gotten on one another's nerves because of their lack of tact?]
At least I knew you always had someone watching your back. Even if that ended up being just me. But I...We need to find you a way out. I know this group needs to be taken down, but I worry about you being tied up in all of this for much longer.
Until we can figure out how to approach this differently though...You've got cover and support. As much as I can provide.
[ It is true...but this seems a lot more serious than rearranging figurines or not properly appreciating his animal puns. ]
Yuri said the same thing, that night with Adachi...
[ And last night, before Yusuke fell asleep nestled comfortably in the crook of his neck, he said that he was afraid, and angry. Even if he doesn't blame Yusuke for it, the artist knows that he has to do something about it. ]
I would not know where to start. I don't imagine asking politely to leave would get me anywhere.
I was going to save this icon for memes and PSLs.....eh.
I know that he agrees...I texted him. I figured if you weren't coming here until today you would have headed there...
[She shifts where she sits, turning bodily towards him--back to the arm of the couch, legs crossed in front her, and a serious look on her face.]
It's not going to be an easy thing, but I'm finding you a way out. I'm not going to just sit and wait, hoping something doesn't happen to you because their leader has some whim about loyalty. I promise whatever we do will get you out of there safely.
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I'm sorry. I didn't mean to send it like that. At least it's honest.
The point is...The point is, you're human Yusuke. You make mistakes, and some of those hurt people...even if you don't realize it. But I don't hate you for it. And I'm not mad. I...still need you, I still rely on you.
I hope...this doesn't keep you from relying on me.
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But of course she isn't focused on that. How could she be? He is realizing quickly that he's had this conversation before, blown someone right over and not known until it was far too late to be fixed. Last time was so angry, on both sides, and Yusuke would rather be hit with a new round of venom than what he gets, which is just...hurt. Palpable, visible hurt, even through text, he can see her face twisted with pain in his head as if in a frame, and he has to put the phone down for a second.
Akira is right. Brendan was right. This is his fault, and he deserves this. ]
I still need you. I still need both of you, but I have done nothing but cause you trouble since you arrived. I don't deserve anything from you.
I'm sorry.
I know that isn't enough.
If you don't want to talk to me either, I understand.
I made my bed. I will lie in it.
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Yusuke. Stop it.
Did I say I wanted to stop talking to you? I said I still needed you too. I don't want you to stop relying on me.
We're a team, even when you screw up. Even when I screw up. We fix it together.
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And I'm telling you...You and I? We are a team. That isn't changing. You still need me and I still need you.
And...Yusuke. Even if I didn't need you around...I'd want you to be.
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I know we are.
You might want to consult him on that. I am merely the muscle, obviously not intelligent or capable enough to choose my own relationships. I'll have to wait on his wise judgement to decide that for me.
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And you're stuck with me.
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I hope so.
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...When you're calmer...come over. I'll prove it if I have to.
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action;
Futaba will get a knock on her door. Unannounced, but not unexpected. ]
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Hey...
[It's not the boisterous greeting she'd normally give, much more subdued and quiet, but it's still friendly and offered with a hint of a smile as she stands aside to let him in.]
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How are you feeling?
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[She looks up at him, clearly concerned. He was the one that had a blow-out fight with Akira, not her. And while she had said some things in the text the night before...her own hurt over a fairly unrelated situation could take a back seat. Yusuke needed support, and that's what she was going to give. Their friendship came first, she promised him that.]
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[ Nope. Yusuke has to clench his teeth to cut himself off from the default response he's been using for years. I'm fine. It's a lie. It's hiding from the truth, something he made a vow to stop, and now he's doing it again. It has to end.
It's easier with Futaba, though. She at least understands. ]
I am not at my best. I am angry, and hurt, but I got some sleep, for once. I want to make things right, with everyone. I can't talk to Akira yet, so I am starting with you.
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She's surprised when he pushes through and is honest. Progress.]
Starting with me...okay.
[Oh no.]
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Yes, Futaba. I have been doing a lot of thinking, and talking. I have been so caught up in my own whirlwind of everything that I hurt you. I know I did, and I am sorry. I cannot help the way I feel or don't feel any more than you can, but I can pay attention. I just...didn't. I neglected your feelings and breezed past you, and you are not the first to fall victim to my carelessness.
[ ...he'll talk to Brendan later. If he'll even listen. ]
You are important to me, no matter who feels what. I want to be a better friend.
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[She appreciates the thought behind his apology, knowing it comes from a place of honesty. But she hates that he felt the need to apologize for getting caught up in his own feelings--It sucked, it hurt, but she hadn't really done much to make him any more aware of it.]
I didn't bring it up. I could have confronted you about how I felt past...past confessing in the first place, but I didn't. It hurt, hurts, but I didn't tell you it did.
I pushed it down, hid it, because I didn't want to come in between anything when you were obviously serious about Yuri--and now I know that involves Otabek too. I should have been honest...
[She offers a slight smile after a moment.]
I know I'm important to you, just like you're important to me. I can't say it's going to be an easy thing moving past...this, but I'll be more honest if I'm feeling left behind.
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[ Yusuke moves over to have a seat on the couch, pulling one knee up towards his chest to lay his head on, and letting the other one dangle off. ]
He told me I was being self-centered. It isn't a lie. I have been trying to handle everything on my own, just like back then, before the Thieves.
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[ She sighs, moving to join him on the couch. There was a bit more distance between them than normal, but not so much that it seemed like she was trying to maintain any distance.]
I don't know that I would call it self-centered. More...self-sacrificing maybe. You don't ask for help, but at the same time its because you don't want us to get mixed up in everything more than we already are. It's not as if you're doing it for personal glory. [She glances over at him.] And you haven't been doing everything entirely on your own either. You've pulled me in to help now and then...
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[ Yusuke watches carefully, letting his hair fall in front of his face as he listens to Futaba echo his feelings back at him. ]
Thank you for understanding. My intentions were always good, but I have work to do. I know that. People have offered to help shoulder my burden and I have turned them away. You, however, refuse to be told no, so I didn't try.
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And we're not really known for tact with each other anyway.
[It was true though. How often had they gotten on one another's nerves because of their lack of tact?]
At least I knew you always had someone watching your back. Even if that ended up being just me. But I...We need to find you a way out. I know this group needs to be taken down, but I worry about you being tied up in all of this for much longer.
Until we can figure out how to approach this differently though...You've got cover and support. As much as I can provide.
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Yuri said the same thing, that night with Adachi...
[ And last night, before Yusuke fell asleep nestled comfortably in the crook of his neck, he said that he was afraid, and angry. Even if he doesn't blame Yusuke for it, the artist knows that he has to do something about it. ]
I would not know where to start. I don't imagine asking politely to leave would get me anywhere.
I was going to save this icon for memes and PSLs.....eh.
[She shifts where she sits, turning bodily towards him--back to the arm of the couch, legs crossed in front her, and a serious look on her face.]
It's not going to be an easy thing, but I'm finding you a way out. I'm not going to just sit and wait, hoping something doesn't happen to you because their leader has some whim about loyalty. I promise whatever we do will get you out of there safely.
OH WELL
IT WORKED SO WHATEVER
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